Today I was reminded...

Today I went to a funeral of an old neighbor from my neighborhood in Lindon. He had a heart attack while he was playing basketball in the church. He was a very healthy man, and still very young (54), he was the health teacher for UVU and I believe he was also the mens basketball coach. Anywho he left his lovely wife and 5 wonderful kids (the youngest 12). Well I went to funeral because I wanted to support his family, and my mom thought it would be a good idea to go since I don't work anyways and she wanted the company. Well he has a daughter named Lindsee, and her talk at the funeral was incredible. I cried of course, but I wasn't sure if I was crying because I felt sympathy for her and her family or if it was because what she was saying reminded me of my grandma. It was both, but it made me think more of my grandma how much I miss her. I was really close to my grandma Woolsey. I can remember the day she died as if it were yesterday.
I remember the phone call I got from my mom telling me my grandma is in the ICU at the hospital and how she is coming to pick me up on the way to the hospital. My mom knew how close I was to my grandma. I remember walking into the room and seeing over a dozen ivy bags above her bed doing there best to keep her alive and pain free from the massive staph infection that started at her ankle and was quickly spreading. I remember standing back letting my mom talk to her as much as she can but then not hearing anything back from my grandma. I think it was because she had a breathing tube down her. I thought "It must hurt for her to talk cause she doesn't want to respond to my mom" So I did just stayed back....I felt helpless. Then about 5 mins later my mom announced to my grandma I was there. It was like a slow motion camera panned over to see her reaction I can remember it so clear. She looked over at me and held out her hand for mine and started to speak, started to talk to me the best she could. As I reached out for her hand, I could see the tears swell up in her eyes as one would release and roll down her cheek. As I grab a hold of her hand I could make out the words that she was trying to tell me, these would be the last words that she would speak to me or she would try her hardest to tell me with the tube down her throat. She would tell me "I love you...I love you....I love you" and you can just see that she was trying so hard to be strong, but the infection was going to be the only winner that day. So I was did my best to be strong for her, not show any weakness. I told her that "I love you, I am here, and I am not going anywhere." Then as our hands met she held on to my hand like she would not let go for anything. I knew I wasn't about to just let go, but eventually I had too. About 5-6 hours later the infection got so bad, it went up her leg, to her hip, up her back, and stopped at the neck. My mom, her siblings, and my grandpa made the choice that it was time to let her go. At this point the only thing that was keeping her alive was her pace maker. Her kidneys failed, the meds weren't working, and it was just time. At her funeral, I spoke. It was hard, but it meant a lot to me that got the opportunity to speak at my grandma's funeral. Even though she is not here...I will always believe that she is watching over me...she is my angel.

Sorry that today's blog was sappy. It was what I felt I needed to write. Thanks for putting up with me. :)